


infinite

by lunreclpse



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:09:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunreclpse/pseuds/lunreclpse
Summary: the familiar smell soothed anakin; the trees, the sand, the water. he could have asked himself so many questions, why was he on naboo? how did he get here after so many years? those were valid questions that any normal being would ask themselves. but the only thing he could ask himself was, where is she? where is padmé?
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Kudos: 7





	infinite

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! before you start reading, i just want you to know that i am aware that the jedi return to the force after death. i just thought this would be an adorable au. i hope you enjoy! 
> 
> p.s. the songs that go with this story are: 
> 
> ill be around - empire of the sun  
> tearjerker - small forward  
> fine line - harry styles  
> across the stars (love theme) - john williams (who could have guessed)

anakin felt his own hair tickle his forehead as he slipped back into consciousness. the intimate feeling of a bed he had once lie in so many years ago giving him goosebumps. the air was just as sweet, the scent of vanilla bean and daisy. he held this scent so dearly to his heart, the sweetness finally flowed through his nostrils once again; penetrating his brain.

his eyes lay shut as he took in the reality of where he thought he was. to be completely honest, he was afraid to open his eyes, to see himself somewhere else, to open his eyes to the wrong ceiling. he did sense where he was, he practically knew, but somehow, he was still full of fear. 

his flesh hand gripped the comforter that hugged his body, the feathers around him sliding against his skin. it felt as if every single feather that touched him would shock him with the most pleasant electricity, urging him to get up. he was begging himself to open a eye, just to see where he was, where he wanted to be. 

he held his eyes shut tight, his eyelids wrinkling, he prepared himself for what he might see. he opened them faster than he could have on a regular occasion. the blue of his eyes shrunk as his pupils dilated, his eyes stung due to being shut for an extensive amount of time. 

the sight he saw was one he never thought he would see again. the ceiling of the bedroom he slept in on naboo. the ceiling he saw when his eyes ripped open due to his nightmares about his mother. the only thing that was different was the feathers twirling around his head. it was a bittersweet sight. 

he lifted his torso up slowly, the outline of his legs under the blanket startling him. there was one thing he pondered as he looked at the shapes. were they his legs? another question he was afraid to answer; but it was inevitable. he reached over to the corner of the blanket with his flesh hand, he gripped it tightly. anakin yanked himself free of the white comforter, closing one eye in the process, composing himself for what he would see underneath.

he was truly astonished by what he saw. 

he saw his own flesh, not robotic legs. he saw two limbs that he lived half of his life without. he wiggled his toes in excitement, an ear to ear grin making way onto his face. the more he moved, the more white feather would shock his skin. 

the realization came to him as fast as it could have. does this mean what he thought it meant? was he.... fully himself again? 

he reached up his left hand to caress his own cheek. as soon as his fingertips made contact with himself his stomach fluttered. he expected to feel the hard, cybernetic armor that had kept him imprisoned for so many years; he was so relieved that he didn't. he was anakin skywalker again, or at least he was back in the body of anakin skywalker. 

his mind began to roam, memories of his jedi training streamed through his mind. the thought of leaving his mother, the death of qui-gon jinn, being trained by obi-wan, padmé. padmé... 

"...padmé?" he whispered. his eyebrows shooting up in question. what she here? was she safe? alright? 

the second the name slipped his mouth he could feel her tugging at him through the force. her presents tugging at his very soul, tormenting him with anticipation to see if she was here. the image of her was so clear; padmé in her beautiful periwinkle nightgown, pearls falling down her pale arms. her thick, brown, curly hair lying perfectly against her back. that smile. 

"you're so... beautiful."

"it's only because im so in love." 

"no-no, its because im so in love with you."

"so love has blinded you?" 

it felt like the memory was a lifetime ago, but it was still so fresh in his mind. he needed to find her, no matter how long it took. if he could be back to his unharmed body, there is no way he could live without her again. he needed to have both, not one or the other. 

"padmé!" he yelled, springing up from his bed. 

his bare feet hit the ground with a smack, the intensity of his emotions flowing through the force. the force guided him as he ran, told him where to go. 

"padmé! love, where are you?" he shouted, tears welling up in his eyes as he ran through their beloved villa. 

as he sprinted through each room, memories ran through his mind. he could see himself and padmé in every corner. the memories playing helplessly as he ran. seeing her smiling at him ached, each memory held the gesture. the simple action. 

he continued to run, trying to not get sucked up into a certain memory as he ran by. but he was bound to finish every room. he was bound to find himself in the very place he officially bonded himself to her. where they began to live their intense lie. a lie that he enjoyed. he hated the deception, but he didn't hate being married to padmé. how could he? 

this balcony held his most important memory. the birth of his marriage, their first kiss. it was so painful to see it without her; the vase of plump red flowers still living. a tear fell down his cheek as he stood, staring out at the lake country. he expected to find her by now. if she wasn't here, where could she be? 

"ani?" he heard a shocked voice come suddenly from behind him. 

he knew it was her. he could never forget that voice. her voice was like music to his ears, it was like a knife slicing through shuura. it was his favorite sound in the entire galaxy.

anakin slowly dropped his head to the floor, hot tears dripping. his back was still turned from her, he sensed her confusion as he continued to not move a muscle. he felt like it was too good to be true.

"anakin?" she repeated. she wanted the man she hadn't seen for years to show himself. to finally prove if he was really here with her. 

he lifted his head up once again, opening his eyes to the lake before him. he felt the force pulling his body to turn around. he didn't try to resist, he didn't want to resist. he wanted to see her. 

the moment he turned around he felt all of his built up pain fall from his body. he felt his eyebrows lift up in astonishment; his mouth falling open due to the beautiful being that stood before him. 

she was wearing the same outfit she wore the day she had asked him about his nightmare. the satin slip dress she wore was white with flowers scattered across it; the deep neckline going just deep enough were you could see her chest without her breasts being unveiled. her hair fell in thick curly tendrils down her back and shoulders. half of the hair up and half of it down. the navy color knit sweater that she wore over her dress not exposing much of her bare shoulders. her beautiful brown eyes stared up with happiness back up at him, her plump lips turning into a toothless smile. he could feel her excitement to see him trickle through the force. 

but how was she here? was she even real? was she possibly just another memory? 

"are you an angel?" he asked, his adolescence leaking through his voice. he felt tears shower his cheeks and he choked out the simple sentence. 

"oh, ani." she cried. she ran over to him, arms open wide. 

as soon as she made contact with him anakin's knees shook. large gasps of breath escaped his throat, his chest ached from the tears he was holding back.

he ran his hands through her curls, burying his nose farther into her skin. the feeling of her felt all consuming. it filled his veins with more love for her than he could have ever thought of. she was really here. every single star in the galaxy couldn't amount to the love he had for her. no being in the universe could take that away. nothing could make him feel different about her. treason was nothing to him when it came to padmé. without padmé amidala there was no anakin skywalker; he simply couldn't exist without her; he couldn't live. 

"is it really you, my love?" he asked, pulling his face from her neck. he lifted his hands from around her waist, he cupped her face. 

he almost forgot the feeling of her skin against his fingertips. he never wanted to admit it to himself but he nearly had, now he knew he never would. she reached her hands up to his wrists, curling his tiny fingers around him. she pressed her cheek into his hands, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. the fruity scent of him felt so familiar.

"it's really me." she smiled, kissing the plump skin of his hand. she felt his pulse as she kissed the spot. 

his knees began to collapse, the guilt overpowering him. his most painful memory stabbed his brain. 

"lord vader, can you hear me?" 

"yes, master."

"where is padmé? is she safe? is she alright?"

"it seems, in your anger, you killed her."

"i-i couldn't have! she was alive! i felt it!"

the tears anakin shed out of vader eyes that day stung his smoldered skin worse than he could have ever ideate. 

he knew that he owed her every single drop of compassion he had left in him; he was willing to give it to her. it still haunted him, he let vader kill him, and his wife. he almost let him kill his children. 

"padmé, im so... sorry." he weeped into her neck, acidic tears burning his cheeks. this burnt worse than the lava had. the fact the he let everyone he loved down, burnt worse. 

"i forgive you, ani. i was never upset. i never will be. i love you far too much to be upset with you." she stroked his hair as he leaned his entire body over her. 

he felt so grateful for those sentences. she was never upset with him; she understood that he wasn't strong enough, not until now. he felt as if that hole that he stabbed into his own heart was finally inching closed. the dragon silenced by the woman he loved more than life. the woman he would do anything for, at any cost. 

"ive been waiting what feels like forever." she whispered, a tear spilling over to her blush-covered cheek. 

"i'm so sorry, my love. it had felt like forever for me as well. im so sor-" he cut himself off. his face smoothed over with confusion

"what is it? what wrong anakin?" she asked, her hands rising from his wrists to entangle themselves in his ethereal, dirty blonde hair. 

his hands dropped, he grazed the jerba leather cord that hung on her neck. he traced the cord down farther until he found something he thought would have been long gone by now. the japor snippet he gave her all those years ago, it still hung at her neck. he picked it up with his index finger and his thumb; holding it tightly between limbs that were once replaced by a robotic replica. the memory was so fresh. 

"i made this for you, so you'd remember me. i carved it out pf a japor snippet... it will bring you good fortune." 

"it's beautiful, but i don't need this to remember you by... many things will change when we reach the capital ani, but my caring for you will remain." 

"i care for you too." 

things were almost so simple then. 

"you thought i wouldn't have it? anakin i won't ever let this out of my sight." she smiled, pleased that he wasn't upset. 

"i just thought it would have been gone." anakin smiled, the blush of his cheeks becoming more prominent with each second that passed. 

padmé ran her hands down his chest, the bare skin bulked up from all of the training he did. she leaned in and kissed his chest slowly, the sensation of his skin touching her lips brought her home. anakin skywalker was her home. all she felt she needed was him, only him. only his love. love is what truly saved them in the end. 

"look at me." anakin mumbled, he was barely audible. 

he pulled less than a centimeter away from padmé, just to make sure her lips were no longer touching him. he lifted his restored hand from around her waist to caress her chin, moving her small head to look back up at him. her brown eyes devouring him entirely. she still had that glint in her eye that he saw the first day he met her on tatooine. 

he dragged his hands up to touch the hair that sat next to her left ear, somehow pulling her closer than they already were. he could feel her nervousness in the force, it had been entirely to long since they had touched eachother like this. he could begin to see more tears welling up in padmé's eyes, he could feel them in his own. her tears were his as well; the air she breathed flowed through his lungs, the emotions she felt were the same as his. 

padmé knew he needed reassurance, afraid of how she would react if he would do the intimate gesture that they did countless times every second he was back home on coruscant. anakin didn't need anything more from her to tell him that he was alright, they were alright. he pressed his lips to hers. 

as they closed their eyes into the kiss their tears fell, creating one. it felt as finally every single drop of anger anakin had toward the galaxy melted away. feeling her soft lips against his was all he required for every inkling of the dark side that was vader to fall out of him; to nearly forget about vader entirely, he beat him. he beat his own murder., just like that. 

padmé ran her hands down her lovers back as she let him back in completely. her husband's very soul bonding with hers again, coming back to life. it felt as if her heart began to beat again.

anakin pulled his lips away from hers slowly, he wished the moment could have lasted forever. he pressed his forehead to hers, heavy breaths came from their lips. 

"anakin?" she whispered, desperately trying to catch her breath. she kissed his cheek slowly, not wanting the affection to end. 

"yes, darling?" he asked. the voice that was his echoed through her ears. 

the question she would ask next was the next most most desperate thing that she had held with her during her wait for anakin. but she was also terrified of the answer that he might have in store for her. 

"...did you ever meet our children?" she let out, pulling her face away from his enough to see his reaction. 

the moment padmé mentioned their children he felt a sense of guilt, but soon that guilt morphed into a smile. he was so proud that at the end of his life he got to save one of the people he loved, his son. luke skywalker. he was so grateful for him, without luke, he would have never been able to come back to himself again. without luke, vader would still be torturing the galaxy. he wouldn't be with padmé right now.

and leia, his beautiful daughter. even though he couldn't officially meet her, he still smiled at the image he had of her; she was so beautiful. he was extremely proud of leia and luke for working so hard to stop vader, for being a huge part of the rebel alliance's success. if they were here now, he would thank them until his vocal cords wore out. he was so grateful to have children who knew right from wrong, even if he wasn't there to teach them it. 

"i met luke." he smiled, the blush of his face deepening. 

the look on padmé's face was so worth every single second of pain that vader put him through.

"you did! i am so grateful for that, anakin." she placed her hands upon his chest, the warm feeling of her flesh made tingles fly down his spine. she cried against him, his strong hands pulling her in tight soothed her nerves. 

"luke saved me, padmé. the only reason i am here right now is because of luke; i tried my best to save him in return." he gave padmé a small smile, hoping that this was good news to her. 

"you saved luke? our luke?" she asked, her hands began to shake. her eyebrows fell into a grateful expression. 

"yes. from the emperor, and from vader. the emperor was using force lightning on him, he screamed for me. he knew that i was still alive, still there. just as you had, my love." anakin lowered his face to kiss the tears falling from her eyes, they were coming at such a rapid pace that tears started to trickle onto his cupids bow. 

"luke really did save you, didn't he." she smiled, wiping her tears away with the palm of her right hand. 

as padmé continued to look into her lovers eyes she remembered something else anakin would be surprised to see that she still had. she had it tucked away, afraid that whenever she saw it, it would make the storm that was not having anakin erupt. however, she now had him. she had him right next to her, even thought she was losing hope that he would return every single second she was not with him. 

"what is it?" he asked, he sensed that padmé had a realization, she remembered something that had obviously involved him.

"i have something to show you." she laughed. she grabbed his right hand and lifted it to her lips. she kissed his flesh. 

the second her lips detached from his skin he was pulled through the villa; as they ran he looked into her eyes as she looked back at him, her hair flying into her face with the wind she was creating, her dress blowing up in all the places he hadn't seen of her in what felt like an eternity. her smile in this moment felt extraordinary. her smile looked exactly the same as it did that particular day on naboo. the day he rode a shaak, he scared her half to death when he fell. the day she wore the most beautiful gown he had ever seen; obviously not as beautiful as the girl who was wearing it of course. the day there was no one to distract them from falling deeper into the abyss that was their love. 

"in here." she said breathlessly, her hair falling against her shoulders as she abruptly stopped them. 

they stood in front of the room anakin had just woken in. white feathers still covered the bed, the outline of anakin's figure still fresh in the comforters shape. 

the setting sun was shining through the windows, revealing the amount of dust that was floating in the air. all the room smelt of was her, the entire villa was her own scented candle that burnt away in the heat of the sun. 

"i have kept this in this room just so i didn't have to see it as often." padmé mumbled, looking down at her lovers ankles in shame. her face turned that champagne color that it would be whenever she became nervous. 

"...it reminded me of your presents that i wasn't quite granted with yet." she gave him a small smile, evidently not happy with herself for not paying this mystery item any attention while anakin wasn't here. 

pamdé was slightly excited to see anakin's reaction to this sacred item; something that was attached to anakin for almost a decade. she reached deep into the wardrobe that was directly across from the bed. she felt her hand around the drawer, looking for a nearly hallow brown box. when her hand finally found it she felt a flicker erupt in her throat. 

anakin stared at her small frame as she bent over into the wardrobe, her slip dress riding up in the back to expose her pale calfs. anakin had missed the parts of her body that others didn't give much thought, her hands, her back. her back, one of his favorite parts of her body. the memory of their first kiss came into his mind once again, he tried to stroke her back, comparing it to the sand by the lake. that was the first time he felt the force wrap itself around the both of them in total euphoria. he took a huge breath in as she popped up from the wardrobe, she was holding what looked like an old jewelry box. 

she stood and looked into his eyes for a moment, her own becoming glazed. she took his large hand in her own and led him over to sit on the edge of the mattress; as they sat down, more feathers blew up. the soft white specks began circulating around them. she lifted her head to look at him once again, her blush getting more intense as the mattress sunk from their collected weight. she extended her hand that held the box; it became clear that she wanted him to open it.

"this is the precious item to me in the galaxy." she whispered. anakin took the wounded box into his smooth hands. 

he placed the box on his lap, the weight felt like almost nothing. he could sense that whatever was in this box was apart of him, apart of padmé, apart of their journey together. 

he raised his fingers to grasp the corners of the lid, he looked at padmé one last time before he continued; she gave him another small nod. he lifted the lid of the box off slowly, the cushioned red velvet of the interior hitting his eyes with ease. in the core of the box was an item wrapped up in thin, white fabric. small stains of ware deep in the cotton. he already knew what the item was just by the feeling of opening the box; the item felt all too familiar to him. 

anakin closed his eyes; he let the force wrap around him and the object, he blocked out everything but the feeling of the force holding him tight. when he opened his eyes again, his body was turned to face his love. in between their faces was the very item that was wrapped up in the fabric, only now, it was exposed. 

even though anakin knew what the piece of him was going to be, he was still filled to the brim with gratitude. seeing his padawan braid again made so many memories pass over him all at once. 

"i can't believe you still have this, padmé. it feels like ages ago when i sent this to you." anakin grinned, he let his hand glide around his braid, the force allowing him to levitate it. 

"well, it is my greatest treasure, besides the necklace of course." she smiled, she was charged with joy to see his smile again as well. 

he laughed at her remark. it was truly all of the little things that made their relationship so extraordinary, how one touch can mean the galaxy to someone. how one whisper can describe all the love in the universe that circled around them. the one thing that anakin knew for sure is that this love was the one thing that meant more to him than anything had ever meant to anyone. she was the single thing that had ever been loved. 

"i love you, anakin. ive missed you so much." she smiled, her pearly straight teeth gleaming. 

she crawled on top of him, her dress riding up her thighs as she did so. she placed each leg on either side of his torso, practically mounting him. she curled her legs around his waist, her chest hitting his, she pressed her cold fingertips to his warm face; the temperatures mixing so well together. he looked into her eyes like he had forgotten what they had looked like, had forgotten how beautiful she was. it was like he was seeing her for the first time all over again. 

in that moment padmé felt something she hadn't felt in a very long time, the force. obviously she didn't have it, so she didn't get this feeling often. she felt it wrap around her, hugging her tightly. it slid itself into every nook and cranny of her skin. but it wasn't just the force. it was anakin. she knew that it was anakin's doing. he used to do this same thing when he would finally come home from the outer rim sieges; or when they would find eachother at the rendezvous point but couldn't actually acknowledge their love; when they were forced to live a lie outside of their apartment. 

"i know, and i love you too, always." 

he reached into her hair, lacing his fingers into those loose curls. he pulled her closer, he snaked his arm around her back, rubbing the surface slowly. she was so close, he could feel her breath on his cheek. he could feel the warmth of her pale skin seeping through her dress. he placed his lips on hers with ease, the familiar softness soothing him. 

she wrapped her arms tight around him, the curls at the base of his neck tickling her skin. she felt like this could be her forever, she hoped that this would be their forever again. she felt like that hole that was her loss of anakin was finally beginning to seal. she felt like all of her demons were distinguished by the light that was anakin skywalker. he felt the same way, ever since the night vader took over he regretted every single decision he made, except for one; saving luke. if he hadn't saved luke he would still be alive right now, luke would be dead at the hands of the emperor. he wouldn't be with padmé. he was so happy to be with padmé. 

"you defeated vader, my love, as i knew you always would." padmé pulled away, the light of her smile appearing on her face almost instantly. 

to hear that padmé always believed in him was the most rewarding thing she could have told him. the woman he loved more than anything that had ever been loved in the galaxy, had always believed he would somehow defeat his own murderer. he looked into her eyes in that moment and forgot everything around him, she was the only thing in his ray of vision. she smiled back at him wider than he had ever seen any being smile. she was pure. she was the very meaning of love for him. 

"that means more to me than you could ever know." he whispered.

anakin leaned into her, he shook his nose against hers. the smile on both their faces grew. anakin slid his hands from the base of her back to her stomach. he tickled her up and down her torso. padmé leaned her body back in a fit of giggles, the immaturity of the situation soothing her. 

"stop!" she laughed. her coils of hair fell to her shoulders as she swung her body up to meet his again. 

anakin laughed as soon as she was back at his level. he felt that this is where he belonged, where he always would be. with just his wife and the terrain around them. the lake they were married at and the waterfalls they feasted within. in this moment he felt so lucky to be than man he was. for the first time in the galaxy he felt lucky to be anakin skywalker. behind all the hardships he had to go through, he still belonged to padmé amidala; just as she belonged to him. he wouldn't take that back for anything in universe, she was all he wanted. in this moment he was infinite. they were infinite. for the first time in his existence he felt 100% pure happiness. this happiness had everything and nothing to do with where he was. just the fact that he had everything he loved in one place. 

this is what it felt like to be anakin skywalker for the rest of eternity, in his own little infinity.


End file.
